When Change Is Hard

As a career coach I often wonder why people get into a rut in their life and work, still managing to exist from day to day but making little headway because they are clearly unhappy. I really want to motivate people in this position to take a risk, to dive into something new - after all, what is there to lose?

So what is my obligation when advising people who appear relatively happy with their current lives? They might still crave some excitement, but there is obviously a much bigger risk at stake, as there is so much more to lose.

I myself have been victim to rationalising that what I have is not that bad compared to other people, so why should I complain? Surely wanting more is just hedonistic, after all, we can't all have perfect lives. (Or can we? Is this even something to which we should aspire?)

The older I get the more time I spend contemplating these questions. Can we possibly aspire to have it all - the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect lifestyle?

In order to be my own coach first, today I am contemplating stretching my boundaries, but I am worried where it all might lead. I am reminded of a French film I saw not long ago called 'Leaving', in which an English woman married to a French doctor is desparate to find herself again, and in the end we are fairly sure she is going to go to prison for a long time.

How do we do something wild and different, that makes us feel alive again, while at the same time cutting down on the huge risk factor that might end up making our lives a misery?  For most of us, taking the plunge into something new is so debilitating that we end up remaining in jobs, relationships and lives long past their use by date.

We do need to identify the need to make changes in our lives, but most of us don't travel far past this step. I am not suggesting we all fall headlong in love with something or someone new in the disaster movie kind of way; rather that we move forward with the help of  a program that might be labelled 'planned sponteneity'. This method involves changing our lives one step at a time, by identifying the risks, reflecting and learning and building in new strategies as we go. It might not sound quite so sexy or romantic as our favourite movie, but at least this way we can check out the new territory one step at a time and even  retrace our steps if this becomes absolutely necessary (it most probably won't, and soon you will be wondering what took you so long).

So what is your first or next step in your transformation? It probably relates to your biggest fear. I think I already know what mine is.